Mother’s Day with Two And A Note to Dads

After posting the below on instagram I saw it was 100th post, which feels crazy in that it’s a huge number and that I’d like to take it in a different direction but for now just more on the importance of Mother’s Day 🙂  https://www.instagram.com/p/BUF3HQcAGbk/?taken-by=anewbedtime

If you need a good laugh or want to get an idea of some of my past mother’s days see: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9856746

Or if you have a special situation, I loved this flower graphic on one way to approach a potentially difficult day

Bermuda Spring Break

I tend to move the goal post on our “family vacations” in hopes of getting the hubby to do something extra special.  So I created another set of standards for what qualified and we ended up in Bermuda for JWS’s “spring break” now that the school calendar is what we live and die by  – peering into the next 30 yrs because yes, I expect my kids will want to go on vacation with me when they are  in college 🙂

By the time we finally agreed on where to go and the exact day (we knew we had to move on Easter Sunday…more on that horribleness later) flights everywhere from NYC were insane given we’re on the public school calendar.
However, we had stayed at the Fairmont Southampton twice before and found a reasonable flight deal with Delta.  We got up at the butt crack o’ dawn, painfully woke the kids up (including putting our asleep son on the toilet as wake-up call) but with a 90 min flight we were at the hotel pool mini-water slide before lunch — and the island is an hour earlier so, massive success given our drive to the keys, flight from Nantucket and most other trips.

 

We had 7 days, 6 nights there but being beach rats, went there the first day and it was blissfully almost empty.  The hotel provides each kid with a shovel and pail and a tropical scene from a Bond movie for the parents, or at least something like that after a few 🍹.

It’s already a memorable, heavenly blur but since we were there for a week we did some excursions around and  outside the  hotel grounds.  The boys played golf at the gorgeous par 3   They provide a ferry service into Hamilton, the capitol so we took that Wednesday morning.  Walked around, did some $$$ shopping and ate lunch.  America’s cup will be there in a month for the first time so everyone is very excited about that and we bought JWS these adorable little TABS trunks.
More to come but darcy is awake and my thought is that if I post on instagram I should have something up here but…Ta-Ta for now

PIC ONE: Hamilton Streets

TWO: Gibbs Hill Lighthouse

THREE: Naptime on the Fairmont’s Beach

FOUR: JWS getting cooky after the 4 of us shared a room

FIVE: Darcy getting sentimental on our last night at the FS’s Ocean Club restaurant

SIX: DGS living the FS Beach Club lyfe

SEVEN: JWS post-kayak with mom, pre-kayak with dad

EIGHT: getting loopy skipping a nap to stay at the beach

NINE: Post-Ferry ride from FS to Hamilton

TEN: Look at that view AT their Airport!!!

The Irony of a Mom Blog

When I started writing down my thoughts as a new mom it began in the form of an actual physical journal. Years ago, I had an old co-worker who had told me that she started a blog for her daughter and so when I stopped writing in my journal shortly after my son was born, I remembered that and started writing this blog.  While so much of being a new parent shifted, I found the cliches to be ringing true with new clarity and the center of so much was (and sadly still is) sleep.

But, hilariously, if I need more sleep to do more, why am I spending time blogging – something that very easily can be argued is unnecessary.  Still, I always come back to writing down these thoughts, experiences, feelings.  Maybe I’m trying to chase and capture the intangible, indescribable (continuously) new world around me.  I can’t believe how connected I feel to these other parents words – those I have met and those I haven’t.
Right now, I’m struggling.  And honestly, I have been for a while. Darcy is a little over five months old and I do not feel like I’m on steady ground.  She embarrassingly is not sleeping though the night and given my son was 11p-7a by 6 weeks; I was ill prepared to not have that at 6 months.  We’ve tried cry it out – many times, four different locations and nothing seems to stick for more than a few days.  I’m not giving up (my GP recently recommended her dad give a bottle of water in the middle of the night) but I’m furiously treading water to stay afloat.
When we don’t have our sleep, we can’t think straight and I’m floored at how hard it is for me to make decisions or rather, final decisions.  I’m constantly in a little research or trial circle. What I do hope is that some of this is relateable to friends who are just starting to go through this.  The secondary reason I started this was, being one of the first of my friends to have a baby, I thought if I could write down a few pearls of wisdom (honesty) some might be able to avoid the pitfalls I fell into, or at least know they’re not alone.  I’ve changed my domain to wordpress but until I find the time to transfer over my old content it can be found http://alexandrawatts.wixsite.com/anewbedtime
Feb 15th, 2017
picture: NY Botanical Garden Train Show

Our “1st Family Vacation”

Somehow, when it was just the three of us we never actually took a real “vacation” in Jack’s first three years of life.  We did some weekends away, extended-family trips up to Maine but we didn’t manage to take a week to get away.  This was always a goal of mine, very ambitious I know.  And despite my inability to make decisions (see other post…) I too often (you’ll see) harken back to my favorite quote (or since I can never reme ber it – idea) of ~”Done is better than Perfect” I turned holidays in South Florida with my parents/sister/family into our, Drumroll please: “First Family Vacation”!

We drove a million hours, or so it felt.

 

 

2nd delivery.

wow.  what a different experience labor and delivery were the second time around.  I can’t stress enough how mindblowingly separate these two things were for me.  Talking with my sister-in-law today, I said it’s like comparing going to Europe with going to Asia.  Yeah, both are a trip but other than a plane ride very little about the experience is going to really be the same.

I will say the one similarity was the drive to the hospital (NYU in my case).  It was just about as horrific this time as it was last time.  Despite going into Labor at exact opposite times of day, fortunately each time we hit very little traffic and each were still miserable.  Both times, I had the distinct conviction that whatever # baby this was, that was how many I would ever give birth to in my lifetime. The other similarity was before going into Labor I was paranoid (for no reason) that I would go early (and be in a horrible predicament) or that I would not be able to get to the hospital in time, which was laughable after a 20+ hour L&D with Jack following his ten extra days in my belly.
And onto the differences.  This time around my biggest fear was what I would do with my son. Who would take care of him, would I scare him as my pain took over and be unable to care for him?  Having been at work when I was pregnant with Jack I was literally blocks from the hospital and now that I’ve been staying home to take care of him I was miles from the hospital.  I think we got extremely lucky that Darcy came on her due date thus had planned coverage around those days given the likelihood of the situation.
This time, when labor began it was so low-grade that I wasn’t sure if it was some early labor, similar to what I had previously experience with Jack 48 hrs before he actually joined us or if it was the real deal.  His Nana was in town for her due date, ready to take care of him in case, but I hadn’t felt much yet so we all went to his swim lesson that morning down at Brooklyn Bridge Park’s Pop-Up Pool (such an awesome place – more on this later!)  I started to feel in enough pain that we went home right after it was over around 9:30 and I called my OB’s office on the way home.  I had an appt set for the afternoon that we discussed bumping up but ultimately we decided I’d try to take a shower, eat something and reevaluate if I should go to their office in SoHo or straight up to NYU.  I was 100% unable to eat anything (which beats throwing up twice with JWS) and the shower was slightly more enjoying than the horrible bath I tried to take my 1st time.
Upon arriving, I was 7-8cm dilated as opposed to 3-4 my 1st labor.  I felt like I was burning up and fairly soon asked for an epidural.  Inconveniently, my nurse had an insanely shaky hand which another nurse assured us was “just the way she was” so after a minor interrogation by my husband she put in my IV, a few anesthesiologists came & I arrived in Heaven 🙂  Then the alarm continued to go off on my IV drip “because of low battery” so they gave me a heavy dose, which was comforting and by some miracle I only had to push for 8 minutes and my beautiful 7lb 5oz baby Darcy Graham Sise arrived.  I know this pretty boring for 100% of readers so I’ll cut it off here and discuss the (positive) differences of 2nd time recovery in another post.

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